PART I: Victimhood & Unforgiveness

By Adele M. Gill   |   Silver Lining Ministries

[Be sure and click on the blog title to see the full article on my blogsite]


“Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”                            Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

Matthew 18:21-22


Everyone at times feels like they have been used, slighted, overlooked, offended, or hurt in some other way. These feelings are only natural at times, but they can cause us to become depressed, anxious, and angry. Perhaps those feelings may be warranted. But the truth is that life isn’t always fair. Often, at the core of the ‘victim mentality,’ is feeling unloved and unlovable; fear of what others may think of you; and un-forgiveness, wrapped in the cloak of self-righteous indignation. But who does that all help? Certainly not those who fall prey to victimhood.

This is not a perfect world. Sometimes things just don’t go as we had hoped, and things even may go wrong. Life happens, plans are delayed or derailed; and disappointment, anger and maybe even rage may set in. At that point, it is easy to feel like a victim. These stealth, negative feelings can quickly creep into our deep inner thoughts and being, without our awareness of them. In fact, these counter-productive thoughts may slip in so swiftly, that they are not vetted out, and promptly discarded, before they take root.

Recognizing When You Feel Like a Victim

It is easy to recognize when we start to slip into victimhood. There are 4 subtle (and not so subtle) telltale signs. Through these indicators, we may consciously or unconsciously experience any combination of the following:

  1. Feeling overwhelmed and/or helpless because of your plight.
  2. Feelings of hopelessness due to circumstances, the actions of others, or both.
  3. Feeling you’re not “Good enough.”
  4. Feelings of entitlement

When ‘victimy’ and un-forgiveness fester, the spirit of entitlement can begin to settle in and we may feel we deserve an apology at the very least, or even some sort of compensation, reparations for wrongful or inadvertent pain and suffering, or inconvenience. Though we may feel like we are ‘owed’ something because of what has happened in the past or is happening, most often, that does not come to fruition, unless there is some sort of legal action involved. Even then, it may not occur. Hence the cycle of victimhood, entitlement, and un-forgiveness, presses on…

What is Most Important

Feeling like a victim is something we all must fight against, as it will, if left unchecked, permeate every aspect of your life, making you bitter. At that point, it only serves as a drain, a distraction, and a diversion from what is most important in life: your family, friends, peace of mind, and faith in God… But there is hope!

Next week I will discuss the remedy for feeling like a victim, and how to know when your victim card has expired…

 <<< Stay Tuned for Next Week >>>

Part II: Victimhood: Your Victim Card Has Expired!


© Copyright 2021   |   Adele M. Gill

~ About the Author ~

Adele M. Gill is a retired RN/BSN, and a certified Chaplain. She is the recipient of the 2021 Firebird Book Award for her new self-help book, ‘How to Go from Broken to Blest.’ This AWARD WINNING BOOK is written for anyone who is struggling in any way, and is now available at

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