No, Really… Why Am I Still Single?

Picture of woman at the table by herself.

It’s the age-old question we’ve all wanted to know. Ugh… There never seems to be a right answer and most times it feels like there’s nothing we can do about it. In my frustration, I started asking God this question, because I sure didn’t know the answer to it. Here’s what happened…

One day I was driving to work and I just needed to cry. You know how it is. There I was stopping at every traffic light and releasing tears, worries, and fears to God my Father. Right before turning into the parking lot of my job, I begged God to let me know why I was still single. What He shared with me next flipped my world upside down. I audibly heard God say that I was single because I {aka my purpose} did not need a husband at this time in my life. I could not believe the Lord would say such a thing; and then He sent revelation, like He always does. 

The purpose of singleness is not solely to prepare or become ready for marriage. After all, there are many single Christians who will remain single for a lifetime for one reason or another. It is crucial to have an understanding of your singleness because it has the ability to derail your hope and distract you from what this season is all about. What is it all about you ask? Purpose. 

Moments after I heard God say those words, I had a paradigm shift in my thinking. For years I had been walking around thinking that my singleness was for marriage. It never occurred to me that singleness was for my purpose. The reality is this: every person that has ever or will ever walk this Earth is born for a purpose. As a result, everyone on this Earth must go through a single season. Your purpose can and will entail several different seasons, functions, and windows of opportunity. All of which you and the God in you are fully capable of carrying out without a spouse. 

If we journey through our singleness with purpose, intentionality and obedience to God, I’m convinced it will be so much more satisfying. (Proverbs 4.5-9)

This doesn’t mean that marriage will never be. For some, marriage is a part of your purpose. But it’s not all there is to your life! If it were, you would have been married straight out the womb. Since that wasn’t the case, you’ve got to know there’s a greater plan beyond your marital status. This is not to placate your feelings or cause you to never desire marriage. It’s simply a reminder to take a step back and realize that God be Goddin’ and has been Goddin’ all through your life since before you were here! This is your reminder to actually DO and LIVE Proverbs 3.5-6. Trust. Lean {not}. And acknowledge Him.

In this single season, take more time to acknowledge God’s goodness in your life. I did this through pursuing purpose, recognizing that God owed me nothing, trusting His timing and recharging my faith so that I could believe ALL His promises for my life. What’s going to be your way to acknowledge Him? 

Once I started acknowledging my purpose in God was more than my fairytale wedding, He began working and moving through me like never before! I wrote about this in my new book, All the Single Ladies: Reflections on Singleness from the Unmarried Women in the Bible.

So there’s your answer.

You’re not single because no one wants you or because there’s no one for you. You are single {right now at least} because of your purpose here on Earth.

Don’t underestimate the great value in that statement. Your singleness has purpose and it is needed for a time such as this! Now go and ask God, what He needs you to do while you’re in this space… let the rest worry about itself. God has not forgotten His promises to you! And He never will! Go in peace.

Picture of Krystle Hunter

Krystle D. Hunter is a dynamic creative leader, serving youth, women and families across the nation and abroad. She’s a lover of laughter, sisterhood and seeing people win. As an ordained minister, Krystle shares her love for empowering and celebrating women through mentoring, facilitation, discipleship and social connectedness events. She wholeheartedly believes, every life can be enriched and transformed by developing an authentic relationship with Jesus Christ.

Connect: KairosKrystle.com
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