22 nd Feb 2021.

Big Magic

Recently I’ve been reading through Liz gilbert’s book Big Magic. You probably know Liz Gilbert, she’s  famous for her  memoir, Eat, Pray, Love. I have  read that one, and while I enjoyed it, I have to say it didn’t  resonate with me that much. I mean I didn’t do what I’d normally do if I was really inspired by a book.  No, my dear readers, I didn’t pass it on. 

Big Magic is the second book that our Sacred Circle are working through together, the first being Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way, which  we completed over twelve weeks running up to December 2020.  At the end of The Artists Way, I realised I’d learnt a lot about my own creativity and began  to believe in myself as a writer.  Though growing in  confidence,  I’m  still not totally there.  Imposter Syndrome (yes, look it up, it’s a real thing), gets in the way. But that doesn’t stop me writing now as it used to in the past. It matters less. In a sense me ego matters less. 

With Big Magic, I’m  continuing that journey. The journey to where, you might ask?. I’m not sure, but I do know that I  love moving  forward,  travelling the road, getting  stuck in a bog sometimes, yes, but getting out quicker and avoiding them mostly.  

Which brings me to this weeks chapter, Permission. What am I allowing/not allowing myself to do, to not do? 

For me, it’s been relatively easy to get time for me, for my writing during this Pandemic. Hours and hours that I never had before have been gifted to me. It’s been an escape really from the harsh realities that are facing the world just now. For me personally it’s the absence of  intimate family time, the joy of laughing across the table with friends, the travelling and exploring in the camper with hubby. I can leave these heartaches outside the door and get lost in the words. And I have done. It’s been brilliant.

 

But, what will happen when everything goes back to normal? OK, not even normal, but to some sort of compromise where we are able to see the family once again. My writing will have to take a backseat, will have to be something I get to do if and when I find  a few minutes. However, I know what will happen then. I’ll be too tired, too caught up in the lives of the children, too busy visiting and having visitors, to have any energy left over for my writing. 

Will it be like that? In one way, I don’t mind if it is. My creativity life  means more than wielding a pen or tapping words into a machine. 

 It necessarily includes those ones that I love. There are so many ways to use my newly found sense of creativity, that I know that I’ll never run out of ideas, only time to put them into practice. Love is always creative.

But, in another way, I do mind. I want to be able to carry on living the process of writing. Obviously through the process the product will emerge.  I need to be able to find ( make, take) the time for it. 

This is where I will give myself permission, then. Permission to  accept “the gift” of my creativity, be grateful for it and enjoy it, giving it the time it deserves. For me, that might mean saying I’m not available at certain times of day, or certain times of the week. 

Liz Gilbert says, “Our creativity is a wild and unexpected bonus from the universe.”

In my silences I realise that for me, my life, my creativity, everything,  is a gift from God, and that alone is enough to give me, not only the permission but also the commission to use it well, to do something good with it. This gives me the confidence to know that I will still write post pandemic. Maybe not as much, but certainly more than pre pandemic. 

Dear Maz, 

I  give you  permission to use the gift of writing that has come from the hand of God, permission not worry about what other people might think if you, permission to take time for it even though life might get busy. permission to thrive as a writer. Go do your thing. I’ve got your back. I’m proud of you,

With love,

Maz 

Just one more little thought from Liz, before I go:

“Intracranial Jewelry-Making.! What a cool job!

That’s basically what we all do – all of us who spend our days making and doing interesting things for no particularly rational reason. As a creator, you can design any sort of jewelry that you like for the insides of other people’s minds ( or simply for the inside of your own mind). You can make work that’s provocative, aggressive, sacred, edgy, traditional, earnest, devastating, entertaining, fanciful…but when all is said and done, it’s just still intracranial jewelry-making. It’s still just decoration. And that’s glorious. But it’s seriously not something that anybody needs to hurt themselves over, okay? So, relax a bit, is what I’m saying. Please try to relax.

Otherwise what’s the point of having all these senses in the first place?”

I love the idea that my work will be jewelry for people’s minds. That’s powerful. 

That’s Magic.

Big Magic